Buck Brannaman’s Way

Just saw the movie “Buck” a feature length documentary about Buck Brannaman, the horse trainer who was the inspiration for “The Horse Whisperer” the movie directed by Robert Redford.

It’s a fabulous film, smart and engaging especially for someone like me who loves and respects animals and has fantasized about being a cowboy but knows little about training horses or even living on a ranch.  I highly recommend it as a family friendly movie that will appeal to just about everyone. If it’s not playing at a theater near you rent it from Netflix.

But the reason I’m mentioning the film has nothing to do with its main story; Buck Brannaman’s incredible ability to train horses without resorting to intimidation or punishment. I’m bringing it up because of what Buck’s relationship with his father says about disciplining children.

Buck’s father was a horror show. He beat Buck and his older brother Smokie on a regular basis and both boys lived in terror of his anger every day. After the boys’ coach discovered evidence of one horrific beating, the local sheriff was alerted and the boys were taken from their father and placed in foster care with a wonderful family. The warm and love they experienced made a difference. Rather than follow his father’s example he took guidance from the family that took him in.  Reason, compassion and patience guide his practice of discipline whether he deals with his kids or the horses he trains.

The film raises important questions about raising and disciplining children. For many dads “spare the rod and spoil the child” is still the rule that guides them. But what are the implications of that kind of thinking? From what I’ve observed it leads to anger and resentment and more harsh discipline.

What’s your view? As we all have experienced parenting’s tough and everyone loses their cool once in a while. So maybe under some circumstances getting physical is the only way to get results. Then again maybe it’s just an excuse to take the easy way out. But if view is to aim to control yourself even in the face of outrageous behavior from your kids what techniques do you have for not acting out and remaining patient?